As a follow up from my last post about how much toilet’s suck these days I’m going to bitch a little about toilet paper.

What the hell are we thinking??!? If you got shit on your hands would you be satisfied with just wiping it off as best you can with soft, dry paper? Of course not! It would clean off the visible butt-butter but you’d end up rubbing a lot of it into your skin like some kind of fucked up crap cream! I’m seriously considering keeping a box of wet-wipes on my toilet tank.

Why is it so important to me that my ass-crack is clean enough to eat out of? Maybe I’m a whack-job clean freak who decided to build a blog about pooping. Maybe subconsciously I just want to impress my neighbors dog with my clean-smelling ass the next time he sneaks up behind me and steals a whiff.

Maybe I just think pooping is funny